What does God want from me? What is His wish regarding my life? What is His call for me? Where can I find true happiness in this world?
These are difficult questions that could create fear in us but at the same time we are invited to have faith in God who is our Father and promised to accompany us throughout our life on this earth. His promise overcomes all uncertainties, doubts and suffering.
The answer to the question “What does God ask of me” is between yourself and God but there are various aspects that can help you in your reflections (discernment) so as to enable you to answer honestly and to be faithful to God’s calling.
Before considering what sort of call God has for you there is a wider question – what sort of holiness does God expect of me? Everybody is called to a life of holiness: laity; committed single; those who are married; religious and priests. This is a universal call that applies to everybody. Ultimately, God is not going to ask me if he was a priest or a married person but if I loved others. St. John of the Cross says that at the end of our life we are going to be judged only by the love we have shown.
What is going to be my status in life? How am I going to discern to what path I have been called: a religious life; a priestly life; a lay committed single person? Marriage with the intention of raising a family? Is this the person with whom I am to share my life and to promise to respect and love throughout my life?
Therefore, the vocational question becomes: Which call will make you love and to give yourself to God and to others: by raising a family; to become a priest; to lead a religious life; or that of a lay committed single? I wish to share with you some aspects that should help you to continue seeking and discovering what God wishes from you.
Your relations with God are most important during this period of reflection and important decisions affecting your life. Let God’s word accompany you in your walk, impart the Eucharist which is our life’s food and drink, praise God and be thankful for your life and do not refrain from spending time before the Eucharist in God’s presence. Reflect on the sincere desire to give yourself to others because every call has the objective of giving oneself to others.
Listen to the wishes that emanate from your heart. So that you will become aware of the happiness God has prepared for you; He speaks in the silence of the heart and through what you experience; through the persons whom you meet. It is quite normal for you to feel troubled and sometimes you will even experience opposing wishes. Since when have you been feeling this particular call? The persistence and perseverance of this wish will continue to enlighten you on everything.
An important aspect during this period of reflection is the principle of reality. We all know that it is God who calls us, and another who accepts to live his life with you. This is the external reality – if we recognise a call for married life we realise that there has to be a reciprocal desire from both persons; I cannot think that I love the other person if that person does not feel the same emotions and has no wish to get to know me.
The same applies to the call for a religious/priestly life. It is the Church that calls/invites and welcomes a person to help in God’s field. That is why it is important that the discernment is carried out by you as well as by the Church (by the person who accompanies you in your vocational walk – a vocational companion, spiritual director, teacher etc.). This aspect continues to assist you in seeking your authentic and sincerer call that God has for you.
It is possible that fear will stop you and will not permit you to continue seeking God’s call for you. There is a possibility of one being fearful that God is calling us for something that will not bring us happiness. God does not wish that our call and our life will bring with it unhappiness but the purpose of our call is to save us and to give us life. The true call is that which fills us with happiness and enthusiasm; that which gives us real peace in our heart and allows us to be our own self. You should not force yourself to change your personality so as to accept that particular call. The answer should come naturally and be accompanied by a wish always to better discern yourself in a continual development over time. God will prepare and change us for whatever we need.
I am afraid that I will be uncapable of living and to carry out what God desires of me.
A common fear is personal fear – a fear that I may not be capable, a modesty that stops me from moving ahead in life, a fear of my own shortcomings. These are all normal fears and you should not let these distract you from placing yourself in God’s hands. Our fears and shortcomings are part and parcel of life and through these we continue to discover ourselves. Can one overcome these? Yes, you can, but with much patience; this takes a lot of time, prayer and help from different other persons (friends, spiritual director, professional helper etc.). We need the help of others for us to get up and rid ourselves of these doubts.
If you wish to respond to the call coming from your heart, have courage and do not lose heart, God will be with you also in those moments when you do not feel His presence. Ahead of you is a difficult path with great challenges; it is possible that those around you are not making the same choice; you feel against the current and the road ahead is indeed a narrow one. Do not wait until you are in heaven to feel God’s love …… but start from here! God is listening to you. Place yourself in His hands ……let Him lead you ……make the first step today!
If you wish better to discover what God wishes of you, contact Fr. Terence Spiteri osa on 2122 2884 or by email on terencespiteri@gmail.com.
Fr. Terence Spiteri osa
Vocational companion